Writing for Comedy is Easier than Reciting your ABC's (and makes a hell of a lot of money too)

I fooled you all suckers! Or did I?

Here's something that baffles me to death.

Comedy.

What is funny? What defines funny? What works and what doesn't? What makes people laugh?

I just saw Borat in theatres, and I have to say, I came out feeling a bit more than a tinge of dissapointment. I'm not saying that it was terrible, I'm just saying it wasn't great. I trust rotten tomatoes (probably more than I should) and a 94% rating and $25.6 million dollars at the box office indicates that I was in for a really awesome and funny movie here.

The problem? It didn't apply to my sense of humour. Yes there were a few funny moments, and I did laugh out loud approximately two times throughout the film. On the flip side, there were many moments where I couldn't stop my eyes from rolling around in their sockets. Yes, my eyes even did two or three loops at a time.

Here's the thing, poop, fart, and naked people, etc. do not make me laugh. I see myself naked every single day, and I don't laugh. I'm not overweight, so maybe that makes it less funny? If I was a fat ass, perhaps I'd laugh at myself every day in the mirror. Or maybe if I was harrier? Man you'd think that half of the American population should be stand up comedians if that's the case.....Nonetheless...I don't find nakedness funny.

While I guess you could say Borat is a funny film because it's deeper then the poop jokes and so forth, because it reflects the larger picture of how closed minded and racist Americans are. Yeah that is part of the film, but it just seems like it's a bit of an excuse to make the movie something more than it was. I think almost every movie nowadays reflect how dumb the Americans are...but that's just my humble opinion.

Anyways, Borat is doing amazingly (but then again, so did Jackass and Jackass 2 so what does that tell you), so obviously people are finding it hilarious. Why is it that they find it funny and I don't? Or, is farting and pooping and other bodily functions actually really funny? In spite of the fact that it's been done gillions of times (and that's no exaggeration), maybe it's just genuinely gold material? Is there something that I'm just not getting here?

I have to admit, however, that there was one important factor that really made the movie less funny for me. I sat directly beside this girl (she looked about 25) , who laughed hysterically throughout the whole film. Not just the, "ha ha" laughing, but the "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...." Yeah, you get it. Not only was this girl laughing at the poop and naked jokes, but she was releasing her high pitch laugh whenever Borat opened his mouth. It didn't matter if he was trying to be funny, or just saying like, "Here I am in California." For some reason, even that was gut wrenching hilarious.

So right next to me was a girl with my polar opposite sense of humour. She laughed at too much, and I laughed at too little. What's the difference here?

Writing for a comedy seems to be easier than reciting your ABC's....and only going as far as F. As far as I can see, the equation for a successfull comedy is as follows:

Poop+Farts+Burp+Naked fat hairy people+Sex jokes+Racist jokes+Gender jokes+Animals+Retarded, Senseless Violence= billions of dollars.

Write that down.

Does this mean K-Fed can go back into the hole where he belongs?

Unlike Jake, I am not a kidder. I haven't written in ages because I truly don't care about you.

Okay, I'm the biggest kidder of all. Of course I care about you!

I, on the other hand, have no excuses for not writing. I'm busy with school, yes, but I'm only at school about 15 hours per week. I'm still working as well, but I'm only working about 15 hours a week. Hmm...I guess that's 30 hours/week. And with homework and studying, that puts me way beyond 40 hours. Damn I'm busier then I thought.

Okay, the real excuse here, is that Final Fantasy XII has been released recently along with Guitar Hero 2 (both awesome games...go get them immediately) and a mixture of an awesome season of TV (Lost, Desperate Housewives, South Park, Heroes...oh and the list can go on and on), and I have just consumed myself in the media these days.

Speaking of the media, that leads me to my latest blog inspired idea. And what's the latest story in the media you might ask?

Britney Spears is divorcing Kevin Federline. Man I did so not see that coming.

Now I know what you're thinking, no one actually cares about that. And well, you're right. But it does inspire a thought that I must explore before I can go on with my life.

Here it is, flat out: I don't think celebrities should be "allowed" to get married. I know that sounds racist, or prejudiced, or whatever you might call it, but it's actually what I've been driven to believe. Why? Because they all seem to treat it like a publicity stunt. I'm sure two years ago, Britney's metabolism started to slow down (hey it happens to the best of us) and she thought, "What on earth can I do to get me back in the tabloids? I know, I'll get married!"

I know Britney isn't the most brilliant of girls, but I'm not just basing this blog on her. Recently, Ryan Phillippe and Reece Witherspoon filled for divorce because Ryan was cheating on her with not just one, but multiple girls. Now Ryan is probably a selfish, limelight hogging whore, but still. I'm sure he was just madly jealous of Reece's successful career and acting talent, and thought to himself, "Hmm...now what could get me in the tabloids? I know, I'll cheat on Reece!"

I think you can see where I'm going here. Celebrities are starting to give marriage a bad name. I mean, can you even think of any famous couples off the top of your head that have been together for more than 20 years? Look at Demi Moore+ Bruce Willis, Jessica Simpson + Nick Lachey, Britney + Kevin, Jennifer Annistan and Brad Pitt, Carmen Electra and what's his nuts, and multiple others. It's pretty sad that getting divorced seems to be the new "it" thing to do.

I guess I'm a bit of an old fashioned, traditional gal, but if I ever muster up the courage to say, "I do" to someone, divorce won't ever be an option.

Unless of course, it will make me famous. I'd totally get divorced to be famous.

I mean uhhh....

Point is: celebrities are stupid. Our focus shouldn't be on whether or not gays and lesbians can marry, it should be on whether or not celebrities have the intellectual capacity to stay with just one person forever and put their personal lives infront of their careers.

Think about it.

What's Going On?

I'll tell you what's going on - I've abandoned you. Yes, you mean nothing to me.

Just kidding.

I've been getting some e-mails from people who are complaining about the lack of updates on Cut and Print.ca. I'll tell you why there hasn't been many.

First off, the movies coming out just haven't deemed themselves worthy of review. Movies like The Covanent are crap and I'm not going to go see them anymore. Sure, I should have seen The Departed but I really didn't have time.

And that's the second reason - I had a new job and I just don't see movie reviewing being in my future, other than for fun. I'm in the industry I want to be in, with the job I want (editor and publisher at a magazine company) and I'm pretty much where I wanted to be, ten years ahead of schedule. How can I complain?

As a result, I know only review movies that I wanted to see in the first place. That means I'm going to be reviewing movies like Borat and skipping things like Flushed Away. Sorry if that means you now hate me, but most of you did already (or at least, hated the fact that I worship Superman Returns, take your pick).

I'll keep posting on here (more than once every 4 months), when I have something important to say, which sadly, hasn't been often recently.

Talk to you soon.

Jake